VANCOUVER – The government of B.C. has announced how they will be dispensing the 4000 doses of the coronavirus vaccine the province is set to receive next week, and all of them are going to the main cast of the television show Riverdale.
“We feel that the best way to get B.C. back to where it needs to be is to support our film industry, and therefore the symbolic benefit of giving the vaccine to these talented artists, and only to these talented artists, far outweighs the lives that will not be saved,“ Premier John Horgan said, announcing a decision that very few outside the most hardcore Riverdale fan community have praised.
The province’s doctors have pleaded with Horgan that if he must give Riverdale’s cast the vaccine, he could still then use the thousands of remaining doses to inoculate members of B.C.’s front-line medical community, but Horgan is adamant that the vaccine only be given to members of Riverdale’s cast and that the stars of the show receive every single dose in the province.
“What’s more important, that an ER doctor gets a single dose of the vaccine, or that Archie, Veronica, and the rest of the gang each get several hundred doses so we can be sure they’re definitely immune?” Horgan said. “They’ve already had to shut down production twice because of the pandemic, this is the least we can do to support the show.”
While B.C.’s current vaccine allotment plan has the full public support of the entire provincial cabinet, most of whom never miss the weekly Riverdale screenings at the legislature, some political insiders who wish to remain anonymous have said the plan is “reckless,” “hard to fathom,” and “doesn’t make any sense, Legends of Tomorrow is a way better show.”
Horgan was unwilling to reveal who would get the next 400,000 doses of the vaccine B.C. expects to receive in the new year, as he has to catch up on a lot of streaming over Christmas before making that decision.
