CALGARY, AB – Local resident, George Bronson, recently got a large chest tattoo to commemorate his beautiful children, which will also serve as a daily reminder of whatever-the-hell their names are.
“Being a father is the most important part of my identity. I would literally do anything for Sammy and uh…. Julia,” explained Bronson, while referencing the slightly-distorted portraits of his children with their names etched across his hairy chest. “I just have trouble keeping track of them at times, y’know?”
The idea to get a tattoo came about when he picked up the wrong child from daycare last month. According to multiple sources, staff asked if he was there to pick up “Sarah” to which he replied, “Um, yes? I think so… that sounds about right,” despite his daughter being named Samantha.
Bronson, who has a grand total of two children, cites both of them having female names as the main reason for his forgetfulness. “Do you know how hard it is to remember two completely different female names? I love my kids, I’m no SuperDad!” he expressed.
Bronson’s solution to this problem was to get his daughters’ names tattooed upside-down right next to their portraits. “It really helps so I can read it in a pinch,” he stated.
According to the Canadian National Tattoo Artists Association (CNTAA), tattoos of children’s names were the most common tattoos sought out by married men in 2019, right after Drake lyrics, “Raptors 2019,” and the perfect temperature to cook a steak (155°F). A statistic which demonstrates that a father’s love certainly has no limitations, apart from remembering specifics like basic personal info, of course.
At press time, Bronson is currently getting Samantha and Julia’s life-threatening allergies added to the tattoo, just in case he ever needs that information.