Progressive! Crayola finally acknowledges the white crayon is useless - The Beaverton
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Progressive! Crayola finally acknowledges the white crayon is useless

NEW YORK, NY- In wake of the worldwide outcry for increased equality, handicraft company has released a long-awaited statement admitting that white have no real function and should’ve been taken out of circulation a long time ago.

“At Crayola, we are committed to inclusiveness and diversity by inspiring all kids to create and see the beauty of people in all shades,” read the company’s Twitter post. “However, we now realize that by including a white crayon in our product line, we are not actively serving that goal. Instead we are taking away space that could be given to a crayon of actual colour in favour of one that is only useful when working with construction paper and even then you’d be better off with a Sharpie.”

“Starting today, Crayola products will no longer include white crayons. We hope this will enable more colouring and less whitening, unlike American history classes.”

To date, the origins of the white crayons remain a point of contention for Crayola employees. The most popular theories include: the company trying to save on dye; a factory error no one wanted to admit to; or that it was just “a different time” and consumers didn’t feel comfortable buying crayons with no whites in the box.

“We initially intended for the white crayons to be used for drawing things like clouds, snowballs, and Republican Senators. But white crayons are in 97% of all product returns, and are repackaged and resold an average of three times,” explained VP of Marketing Charles Weston. “We are currently considering a large number of replacement colours, such as Beige, Translucent, and Caucasian Skin.“

Crayon industry insiders have hailed this as a good PR move for the company, after Crayola was accused of profiteering off the current movement by offering DIY banner ideas on their website. However, others have accused Crayola of acting not in the interest of racial equality, but purely off of good business sense.

In related arts and crafts news, the BIC corporation announced that it is offering Wite-Out in a limited edition black colour.