OTTAWA — After a post-holiday Instagram post featuring a bearded Prime Minister Justin Trudeau caused a media stir, the subject of the photo was actually revealed to be Trudeau’s evil twin, Trustin Judeau.
“Hahaha, you can tell from my sinister facial hair that of course it is I, Trustin Judeau, from the evil Mirror Universe,” cackled Judeau, referencing the classic 1967 episode of Star Trek, ‘Mirror, Mirror’. The sinister doppelganger elaborated to reporters, “I am the opposite of that goody goody Trudeau in every way! I love buying pipelines! And I hate electoral reform!”
Judeau grinned wickedly, as the assembled reporters looked at one another and shrugged.
Trudeau’s evil twin went on to explain how, with the actual PM Trudeau locked in a closet, he planned to enact an evil agenda totally at odds with the wholesome image of his good alter-ego. “First, I’m putting a stop to any additional funding for Indigenous Reserves! Hahaha!” Upon learning from a reporter that the real Trudeau had done this, Judeau changed tack. “Well in that case, what if I told you I’m cooking up a shady and corrupt deal with a company called… SNC Lavalin?”
“What? That one too? Come on!” shouted the bearded Judeau.
Judeau continued to list his proposed evil schemes, including: cutting veteran support; allowing nationwide housing prices to skyrocket; and once dressing in blackface for a school video.
“Wait, he did it more than once? AND brownface too? That’s insane,” replied an exasperated Judeau.
After having exhausted his sinister To-Do List, a defeated Judeau resolved to leave Ottawa. “That’s it, I’m heading back to be Mime Prinister of Adanac. At least there, people actually expect me to do this kind of shady shit.”
Judeau then gave assembled reporters the finger before exiting through a dimensional gateway back to his evil parallel dimension.
After being freed from a Parliamentary broom closet, the actual beard-less Justin Trudeau thanked reporters before announcing that he is considering helping President Trump to invade Iran.