Woman announces rebrand of crippling depression naps to sad time siestas - The Beaverton

Woman announces rebrand of crippling depression naps to sad time siestas

HAMILTON, ON – In an effort to escape the exhaustive emotional weight and mental strain of her current life Emilia Ruthen is taking charge like a #bossbabe and rebranding her 2-17 hour depression naps in the middle of the day as sad time siestas. 

The strategic move came after redesigning a website for one of the six freelance jobs she still needs to invoice for. “This start-up hasn’t changed anything internally, but their new tagline Boldly Inspired. Brilliantly Invested. really makes it seem like they got their shit together,” said Ruthen closing the blinds with a sigh of relief “Success is all about perception and I want everyone to know I am just recharging my batteries, despite their toxic corrosion.”

The language for the rebranding was inspired by her research for a trip to Spain. She loved the country’s outlook on sleep culture and was confident she could Eat. Pray. Love her way out of her own deep well of sadness. Unfortunately, Ruthen cancelled the trip last minute to avoid the stress of travelling abroad but is using the term “siesta” in lieu of a souvenir keychain. 

“This is a Marc Jacobs bandaid on a gaping wound,” says Ruthen’s work wife Chantal Liphurst “I’m a big believer in self-care but Emilia’s sad time siestas seem like a symptom of our hazardous gig economy that makes long term financial stability nearly impossible, so she can’t even treat herself to a new weighted blanket.”

Ruthen has decided to continue rebranding symptoms that are definitive signs of mental burnout including binge eating to yummy tummy time, panic attacks to freak out fiestas, and an insurmountable feeling of helplessness to Wanderlust. 

At press time Ruthen was excited to have an opportunity to work as a consultant on the upcoming #BellLetsTalk campaign that will require 20+ hours of unpaid overtime.