WINNIPEG – The Red Cross is reporting at least 750,000 people are still trapped living in Winnipeg carrying on with their day-to-day lives.
The evacuation remains at a standstill as delusional residents continue to inhabit the city facing years of powerful snow storms that knock out electricity to floods that inundate sections of the city.
“These people have endured so much,” said an official from the Red Cross who has been helping residents relocate to a hospitable climate capable of sustaining human life. “We estimate that at any time, at least 5% of the population is trapped in a slushy snowbank.”
The Red Cross and other aid organizations have made an effort to raise awareness among the exhausted community that other cities in Canada do, in fact, exist.
“I have made so many attempts to flee the city for safer ground,” said local Levi Stutzma. “But I am forced back every time I reach the Perimeter Highway remembering that I have a job, wife, and kids here. Plus, the Bombers are doing good this season.”
Much like Stockholm Syndrome where hostages become loyal to their captors, Winnipeg Syndrome is a condition whereby repeated exposure to abusive weather and traffic conditions make residents want to stay longer, say psychologists.
“Some longtime residents even take pride that their city is under constant threat of an icy obliteration,” said UBC psychologist Victoria Anders. “Bragging that you can easily freeze to death in an early fall snow storm is quite perplexing and merits further research.”