NEW YORK – After claiming that the white supremacy problem in America is a “hoax,” Fox News host Tucker Carlson was severely reprimanded by the network with an all-expenses paid vacation to Key West, Florida.
In the wake of the El Paso massacre, Carlson misled his audience by saying that America’s white supremacy problem “is a hoax” adding that “none of it is real, the rise of white nationalist domestic terrorism, Russian interference, or the fact that Nixon is dead. Those are just conspiracy theories used to divide the country and keep power away from middle class POCs: people of caucasity.”
The Fox Corporation board of directors released a joint statement stating that, “While immigrants may be replacing hardworking, grain-fed Americans, Fox News could never replace Tucker Carlson.”
Carlson’s out-of-office email bounced back yesterday with the signoff, “Will be back in a week. See you at the next dog-whistled mass tragedy!”
Many other Fox News hosts have faced the same fate as Carlson after making controversial comments. Laura Ingraham was disciplined with a two-week stay in Bora Bora after mocking Parkland survivor David Hogg, and Bill O’Reilly is reportedly still being chastised for several multi-million-dollar sexual harassment settlements on his sabbatical in the Bahamas.
“We had originally hoped to send Tucker to Tulum or Cancun, but suspected he would find out that they were both in Mexico,” said a Fox News spokesperson. “And though we are committed to penalizing him for hurting our advertisers — I mean audience — we don’t want to kill him. Tucker is going to be ‘tuckered out’ once he finishes all those mandatory anti-anti-racist trainings and pina coladas we have planned for him.”
Fox News assured worried viewers that while the vacation is all-inclusive, the resort where Carlson is staying is not inclusive at all.