NEW YORK – The leader of the world’s most elite mixed gender superhero team is demonstrating his heroic nature in a different way this week by wearing heels to work in what he calls a gesture of support not only for his female teammates but for all women.
“I’m a good guy, I’m a feminist, and part of that is listening to women,” Captain Power Man said as he finally settled on a pair of red and silver stilettos that match his uniform. “So when my female teammates- I mean, technically I’m their boss but we’re all part of the team- when they came to me and told me they wanted the team’s dress code changed, I told them first I’d spend a week in their shoes.”
“I’m looking forward to it, it’s basically an extra pair of weapons on my feet. And I think when they see how easy it is for me to wear them, maybe they’ll decide to stick with them. I’m very body positive and heels do wonders for their asses. Scratch that. For all our asses,” he said.
Captain Power Man’s female teammates are very eager to see the results of his plan, with some showing their enthusiasm by releasing several of his nemeses from the team’s secret underground prison and installing them in 8-floor walk-ups.
“Oh yeah, the ladies have been so supportive of this. Like, giddy, even,” Captain Power Man said. “It’s a relief to see them so happy, they were pretty upset when they found out they were earning 80% of what their male teammates make. But, you know, their boss is a feminist. I think we all know that’s so much more valuable to them in the long run.”
At press time, Captain Power Man was taking a two hour break after a half hour of patrolling the streets in his new heels and was trying to explain to a sobbing woman who’d just been assaulted that the reason he wasn’t chasing her mugger was because the greater good would be served by her learning to let go of material possessions.
