OTTAWA – Addressing concerns that many Canadians have about the imminent legalisation of recreational cannabis, the federal government has committed to applying the same common sense policies they have applied to telecommunication.
“The best price doesn’t come from a competitive free market or from a nationalised control board” stated finance minister Bill Morneau. “But rather when you have a handful of private corporations that the government protects from competitors.”
The Prime Minister’s Office pledged that when Canadians buy marijuana they will get the same value for money they get when paying for internet. If Canadian’s are unhappy with their federally licensed cannabis supplier they can call them to try to get a better cannabis plan.
“All these rules that only allow companies with massive amounts of funding to enter the legal market place are about protecting Canadians.” said former BC health minister and current vice president of Hydropothecary Corp Dr Terry Lake. “The real danger with the black market was that Canadian’s weren’t paying enough for weed. If smaller providers want to get into the market they just have to rent greenhouse space from the larger Cannabis providers.”
In addition to rules about packaging, age restriction, and price the government also mandated a minimum amount of Canadian content that Cannabis suppliers must produce, although many have suggested that Canadian cannabis is being offered at poor times and not being advertised as much as marijuana from other countries.
“Ever since weed became legal my weed guy is a lot more lax when they turn up, I’m just told to be home between 9am and 5pm” said Brampton resident Jackson Trey. “And I can only get a good price if I bundle my weed with some coke and molly I don’t really want.”
“On the upside I just learned that if I stick with my plan I will own my bong outright in only three years, and they also threw in free vape insurance.”