Suits actor Meghan Markle to marry man living off government assistance - The Beaverton
http://nationalpost.com/news/world/meghan-markle-queen-elizabeth-christmas-service

Suits actor Meghan Markle to marry man living off government assistance

WESTMINSTER – Actress , who is best known from the television series , is engaged to Henry Charles Albert David who, along with many of his family, is living on .

Henry Charles Albert David, who has no disability or other issue preventing him from participating in the workforce, receives along with his family about 45 million pounds annually from the British government. It is hoped that Markle will be a role model for a family that has been stuck in a cycle of welfare dependence for many years.

“There’s just no way I could keep my job,” said Henry Charles Albert David. “It’s very important for the fifth in line to a ceremonial position to not have a job. It’s tough for me, but it is even harder for my brother. I don’t know how he manages to raise two kids with only his welfare checks.”

Although many believe that a culture of welfare dependence has prevented the family from being gainfully employed, others point to the low societal expectation as the root cause. “They have been celebrated so much for not doing anything,” reported social work professor Gary Davvid. “It’s not healthy for the family or society as a whole.”

“Henry Charles Albert David assists in a number of charitable endeavors,” said family friend Clarissa Patro. “Which is good, because no one with a job has ever been able to volunteer for a charity.”

Markle’s soon-to-be husband and his family claim their government assistance not under a traditional social welfare model, but rather something called “Monarchy”. The system pre-dates democracy, widespread literacy, or soap.

At press time said something very racist.

Want more satire in your life? Check out the Beaverton Podcast!