OTTAWA – As another tax season draws to a close, the Government of Canada is reminding citizens that hunting agents who work for the Canada Revenue Agency will be considered poaching starting on May 1st.
“Tax season is an important part of Canada’s financial ecosystem, without it CRA agents would proliferate, exhaust the tax base and collapse our entire economy,” Finance Minister Bill Morneau said. “Thinning their numbers helps Canada thrive.”
“But now that another fruitful tax season is over, it’s time to let the CRA agent population rest, recover and rebuild their population in time for next year.”
Not everyone is happy with the way the government is choosing to manage the CRA agents. Animal Rights Activists say the annual culling is cruel and unnecessary and that CRA agents would reach a natural equilibrium with the economy without it.
“Hunting CRA agents is not only barbaric, it’s unsustainable,” claims anti-CRA hunting activist Joyce Littlefield. “Both Revenue Canada and Canada Customs and Revenue Agency agents were hunted to extinction and we’re sadly repeating the same pattern today.”
“We’re already seeing the CRA agent numbers dwindle to such low numbers that gung-ho tax hunters have starting eyeing the tax accountant population. There’s a reason most H & R Block offices have razor wire fences and moats.”
At press time, several hunters who’d hoped to bag one last CRA agent before the end of tax season were shocked when their prey turned the tables on them and subjected them to audits so thorough their great grandchildren will be justifying every expense.