LONDON – Despite the British vendor’s persuasive arguments, Canadian tourist Eric Forte remains unconvinced that the street merchant is actually selling the biological children of Kate Middleton and not knockoffs.
“I dunno, I’ve been burned before,” said Forte, examining one of the infants as the seller fidgeted with his fingerless gloves. “I mean, £60 just seems a little low, doesn’t it?”
As additional evidence, Forte pointed to the poor craftsmanship, the absence of any logos, and how the word “Royal” was misspelled on all the onesies. Forte says his carefulness stems from a previous occasion a few years prior when he narrowly avoided buying the last male white rhino after a close inspection revealed it to be a cat wearing an ice cream cone.
“I promise guv, these are 100% real. I know Prince Bullion very well,” said the vendor, doffing his crooked top hat as Forte examined the sellers five ‘genuine’ Korn-i-Noor diamonds. “You’ve heard of him? He’s the Duke of Grainbridge. I get my stock directly from him and Kern Middlepunt.”
At press time, Forte had bought two of the babies after reasoning that, even if they were fake, they were still decent gifts for people back home.