Priest uses Thursday Mass to test out new material - The Beaverton

Priest uses Thursday Mass to test out new material

BRAMPTON – During at St. Paul’s Roman Catholic this week, Pastor Callum O’Brien, 40, took the opportunity to work on some he’d been wanting to play around with for a bit.

“It’s easy to get comfortable with a sermon that works, but I had been doing the same psalms for over a year and it was starting to feel stale.” O’Brien told the press, placing a bottle of holy water next to the presider’s chair. “It seemed like the right time to spice things up.”

After spending time sorting through his scrolls for the right idea, O’Brien told the press it was a small step to assembling a liturgy that suited his style and energy.

“This neighbourhood has a lot of mainstream churchgoers, a lot of young kids and nanas. They love Noah’s Arc, Signs of The Cross type stuff. I’m a bit of an alternative Pastor, much more into passages from Philemon. Jobe has some great stuff too, he was way before his time. I’m hoping to get them on board with The Good Samaritan, and then start into some lesser known parables.”

After tightening his new sermon up at the 2PM mass, O’Brien hopes to bring it to a Sunday morning audience. Sources say he has requested that his best Deacon open the mass.

At press time, O’Brien was unavailable for further comments as he was giving notes to the new altar boy regarding his knowledge of the rule of three; the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Want more satire in your life? Check out the Beaverton Podcast!