True genius is a delicate thing. Often brilliant minds are plagued with neuroses or mental illness. But sometimes, perhaps once every few generations, a truly stable genius emerges. One whose contributions to mathematics, literature or art are peerless within their time, and whose life is governed by wisdom and empathy. Take this quiz to find out if you’re a very stable genius.
1. What comes next in the series? 1/1, 3/6, 9/11, 27/16, 81/21,?
I’m the best at numbers. Believe me. And I’m used to big numbers. Huge numbers. We’re talking massive, in the billions of dollars, numbers. But these numbers are too small. You can’t even count them, they’re so small. They’re really - and another thing, I guarantee you you probably don’t even know what’s next. What comes next, it could be anything. You can’t answer, but I can. I know, because that’s how good at numbers I am.
2. You’ve taken a group of three boys to the park to play. One of them is crying because the other two boys won’t play with him. What do you do?
Talk to the boys and figure out ways they can all play together.
Tell the boy in a soft voice not to cry.
Try to distract the boy with other things he can play with.
Stop it. Stop crying like a little girl. What are you? Soft? I should have never let your mother name you after me. Your mother was a controlling bitch, always nagging. A gold digger. I tell you, she’s gotten so ugly in these last few years. Have you seen her? When she was younger, man, she was a real piece of ass. But now? Unbelievable! - Anyway, you’re a disgrace. You know that? I never wanted you anyway. You keep this up I’m not going to pardon you. Sad!
3. Assume the first two statements are true. Is the last statement true? “All sushi restaurants serve beverages. Sake is a kind of beverage. All sushi restaurants serve sake.”
Why would I assume that’s true? I would never eat at a place like that anyway. Have you see these places? Raw fish. Disgusting. Look, and I’ve met Abe of Japan. He’s a tremendous guy, believe me. But those people and their food. But he’s a great guy. Wife’s not great, but he’s okay. I don’t know. Listen, and I don’t even drink. And who cares about sake when I’m not going to drink it. I’ll go if there’s Diet Coke, but I won’t eat anything.
4. Based on her body language, what emotion do you think this woman is likely feeling?
I think she’s maybe bleeding badly from her... whatever.
5. Finger is to hand, as leaf is to…
Why are people - My hands. This is what the fake news media does. These people, they think it’s funny. It’s not funny. Not even a joke, not by a longshot. I mean look, my hands are not small. Look at them, they’re actually quite big when you look at them. See? I have some of the biggest hands of many of the people that I know of. And I know a lot of people, believe me. And you know what they say about people with big hands, don't you?
QUIZ: Are you a very stable genius?
YOU ARE NOT A VERY STABLE GENIUS
Don’t feel bad. The chances of you actually being a very stable genius are very low. You are simply a normal, highly-unstable, genius. One who will, in all likelihood, be haunted by their own creative mind into a glorious oblivion of emotional turmoil and unique insight into life and the world around. Your works will fall into obscurity for all of history. Be sure to share this result with your friends online!
QUIZ: Are you a very stable genius?
YOU ARE A VERY STABLE GENIUS
Congratulations! You are a highly unique person who has risen above the rest of society with your unparalleled intellect and deep emotional fortitude. You are a leader both morally and intellectually, inspiring future generations to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! Be sure to share this result with your millions of Twitter followers, some of whom are not actually Russian bots.