Report: Basement apartment good enough - The Beaverton

Report: Basement apartment good enough

– Local graduate student, Emil Stanley, has confirmed that his recently leased in the Outremont neighbourhood isn’t perfect but at least “”, a sentiment shared by friends and family.

“I mean, I guess there a couple of things that are shitty about it, like the bad water pressure and that weird cold spot in the southwest corner,” said Stanley from his gently-used futon, “but how much can you really expect from a basement apartment in a major city.”

Stanley’s friends, who mostly reside in more upscale surrounding such as high-rise condos or their own detached houses, generally agree that the apartment has a few drawbacks but is probably pretty alright, for a few years at least. During a recent house-warming, the consensus reached was that sharing laundry machines with the upstairs neighbours would get annoying after a while but is something you could learn to live with. Most attendees easily rationalized the presence of only one window in the entire unit with the fact that the rent was affordable.

“I know Emil was shopping around for a few months and couldn’t find anything. He eventually had to lower his standards in what he wanted,” said Monica Gerard, Stanley’s cousin, “so with that in mind this apartment is pretty sufficient, even though I would never live there.”

Indeed, many onlookers gave enthusiastically lukewarm feedback about how the apartment fits everything Emil said he wanted out of a place, even if there was nothing really special about it. Most focused on the presence of a fridge and separate bedroom as features that definitely made the apartment an apartment and that someone could for sure sleep there every night without any actual shame.

“Look, no one expects to live in a mansion in their mid-20s so from that perspective, this is absolutely passable!“ said Emil’s mother Martha while retrieving a steaming pizza bagel from Stanley’s toaster oven, the sole cooking appliance in the kitchen.

“Though his father and I would really like to see him move somewhere above-ground in a year or two,” she continued.

Sources verify that Stanley has frequently used “good enough” as the standard of measure for all aspects of his life, including his current income and his girlfriend, Emily. While many would prefer him to be a little more ambitious before settling, most are just happy he’s not living anywhere too disgusting.

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