QUIZ: Can you earn the respect of this super cool 6th grader? - The Beaverton

QUIZ: Can you earn the respect of this super cool 6th grader?

So you’re stuck at a boring social event with a bunch of other adults and looking for a way to kill the time. What better way to do that than to befriend – and then hang out with – the coolest person in the room? Unfortunately for you, the coolest person in the room happens to be that ultra cool 6th grader with the sweet pair of sunglasses, so impressing him won’t be easy! Do you have what it takes?

1. 1. Your being introduced to this super cool kid by their parents, time to show them you’re real cool! First impressions count so don’t mess this up! What do you do?
I introduce myself by full name and a firm but comfortable handshake.
I give them the ol’ “WAZZZZZUUUUUUUUP!” with a double fist bump.
I stare at them intensely with widened eyes until everyone gets uncomfortable and slowly backs away.
I give a hungover nod in their direction to acknowledge their existence
2. Ok so maybe first impressions don’t mean everything. Let’s hope not because that could have gone way better for you. It’s ok, you overhear the kid talking about some TV show called Rickin’ Party? Or was it Brick and Mortar? Doesn’t matter! What matters is you two can bond over your love for TV and become best friends! Quick! What’s your favourite show!?
I’ve been known to indulge in an episode of Frasier or two on the weekends.
Oh definitely some Big Bang Theory! BAZINGA! Haha get it? That’s what that Sheldon guy says!
I exclusively watch true crime murder documentaries. They excite me.
Whatever is on TV at the bar I happen to be in.
3. Oh man… that super cool kid was not impressed with your ramblings! You seem nervous, why don’t you go get yourself a drink to calm yourself down. What’s your drink of choice?
Same as my favourite actress! A lovely Shirley Temple.
Beer! I’ll even let you have some if you don’t tell your parents!
I like to bite on the inside of my cheeks until I taste blood. It’s thirst quenching.
Whiskey. Double whiskey. Actually, just give me the bottle.
4. Ok, ok hopefully you’re not so nervous anymore. But looks like this super cool kid has one of those fidget spinners you read about in a magazine you paid money for! You should impress him with your cool stuff too! What’s your most prized possession that you can brag about?
The love and respect of my family.
My razor scooter! Want me to show you a sweet trick?
I have a collection of very small knives. Small enough to not get flagged on a metal detector but large enough to pierce flesh.
Leave me alone, I’m hungover, distant and moody.
5. Oh jeeze, nothing is working and now it looks like the super cool kid is trying to actively avoid you! He’s escaping on a skateboard! What do you do?
I smile and nod, happy he has his independence but hoping he stays safe.
I chase after him on my razor scooter while singing the FRIENDS theme song to show him I’m a hip pal friend!
I laugh. I laugh and laugh until my vocal chords strain and start to bleed into my throat.
I don’t give a fuck. I’m going to go find a dark place to pass out with dignity.
Quiz: Can you earn the respect of this super cool 6th grader?
Sorry, this 6th grader thinks you’re pretty boring. In fact, there’s a good chance you’re actually one of their parents! Don’t worry, I’m sure one day they’ll realize you were right all along!
Quiz: Can you earn the respect of this super cool 6th grader?
So uncool!
Wow, you’re trying way too hard to be cool and it’s coming across as super lame! This 6th grader wants nothing to do with you and thinks you’re about as awkward as their “fun aunt” who always tries to get karaoke started.
Quiz: Can you earn the respect of this super cool 6th grader?
Very uncool! And very creepy!
Not only does this super cool 6th grader think you’re a creep but so does literally every adult at this party. Wait who invited you here anyone? ...Someone call the police.
Quiz: Can you earn the respect of this super cool 6th grader?
The coolest!
Wow! Your “too cool for everyone here” attitude and lack of social civility is working wonders! This 6th grader thinks you’re the coolest person around, you even used a swear! It’s a shame that in 10 years they’ll realize you’re just an alcoholic who was shutting everyone out of your life. Oh well, for now YOU ROCK!
  •  ♥ 
  •  🍆 
  • LOL 
  • I do not know how I feel about this 
  • I just want to click a button 
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