Vancouver – A new east side restaurant focusing on brunch staples caters exclusively to screaming, crying babies.
“Every time I went to a brunch place there were at least 5 patrons under 1, concerned with making as much noise as possible” said Babycakes owner Tabitha Boo “I realized that there was a demographic that was hungry for a new type of restaurant. Or maybe they are just tired or gassy. So hard to tell.”
The new restaurant has several dishes designed to appeal to a pre-verbal clientele including mashed bananas, eggs with too much ketchup and dishes of butter that they can stick there hand right into. The most popular dish has been a $27 artichoke-scrambled eggs benedict with a fig and roasted red pepper reduction that infants can pick up and hurl across the table.
In addition to a specialised menu Babycakes also has extra forks and salt shakers for customers to smash together.
When reached for comment regular patrons Arlo Cassisus said “tuck” or possibly “truck” or “duck”. Despite the difficulty in clarifying the quote, enthusiasm for the new establishment was undeniable.
Not everyone is such a fan. Some parents have complained about the strict age cut off. “I have a really stupid two year old” complained local parent Charlotte Gin “I think he would fit right in here but they won’t budge.”
Babycakes has become stiff competition for many existing brunch places in the area. After dropping their children off at Babycakes many parents opt to forego brunch and simply return home to enjoy an hour of uninterrupted sleep or sex. Speaking anonymously many parents admitted only going to brunch “because it’s something you can do with a baby.”
“This is definitely the most adorable patrons I have worked for.” said server Liam Kolank “but it is hard when it comes to the bill, because the clientele has no concept of counting or currency. Last week someone tipped me with 2 bottle caps and a shiny rock.”
After the brunch success the restaurant has decided to expand to a dinner menu exclusively for couples who are mid break up.