Chatham, ON – Local pharmacist and long-time white supremacist Alex Robichaud has had it with the Southern Ontario alt-right community, declaring that young racists today have it “way too easy”.
“When I was a boy, we had to walk three miles through the snow just to throw rocks at an Italian. Now it’s all online, where’s the passion?” said Robichaud, taking a break from watching the neighbourhood for ethnic intrusion. “These kids spend all their time on their tablets, using code-words like ‘Canadian values’ and ‘protect our culture’, and they call THAT racism. Call me old-fashioned but a racist should have to pick who they think is subhuman and lay it out there for all to see. I bet these millennials don’t even know what a posse is!”
Robichaud’s complaints are nothing new to younger members of the alt-right movement. “We all appreciate the work Alex has done keeping our pure Christian heritage safe from the one-world miscegenists of the socialist Trudeau cabal,” says Gordon Mackenzie, founder of the website Christian Heritage Right Invictus Southern Temple, “but he’s got to know times have changed. With the dark web and Ezra Levant, we can spew our bile much more efficiently.”
“Back when I was working to ethnically cleanse our nation by disenfranchising anyone who looked or talked or thought differently than me, we had to work local, with a poorly laid out flyer and backroom meetings in the hardware store. Nowadays, they got 4chan, Breitbart, Rebel Media, The Toronto Sun. A real, self-respecting racist knows what it’s like to get woozy from the fumes of the mimeograph machine in their backyard hate-bunker. If you’re gonna hate, you gotta work at it!
At press time, Mr. Robichaud was busy organizing a Canada Day float for the town’s European Heritage Businessman’s Foundation around the theme “Snow White.”