"
"
"

Concussed Crosby tattoos ‘you won the 2017 Stanley Cup’ reminder on his torso

PITTSBURGH – In the early morning hours after winning his third while suffering from what is at least his fifth concussion, Penguins captain was seen getting a reminder of his accomplishment tattooed on his body.

“It’s an honour winning the Cup. But as with everything else in my life I know I will soon forget it,” said Crosby while the tattoo was added next to notes about who he can and cannot trust.

“Also I need to find out who killed my wife.”

Crosby, whose short term memory lasts for only ten minutes at a time ever since getting hit at the Winter Classic in 2011 also has a tattoo saying “remember Kris Letang” on his wrist.

“I’m so proud to have won my first Stanley Cup” said Sidney as he intentionally burned a photo of him winning in 2009 and 2016 so his quest could continue.

At press time Crosby, was demanding to know who everyone in the room was.

Want hilarious satire you can listen to? Check out The Beaverton Weekly Report podcast here