CANADA – The entirety of Canada is in flames today after the Liberal party introduced legislation to repeal unnecessary sections of the criminal code, including the section that prohibits blasphemy.
“Well this is odd,” said Liberal spokeswoman Roberta James as fire rained down upon her. “Did someone leave the oven on?”
In addition to the divine inferno, the nation’s paramedics are responding to numerous instances of frogs, locusts, and, in one case, a mysterious hand coming down from the sky and flicking an old lady across two provinces. However, the parts of Justin Trudeau that have not yet turned to salt remain adamant the law must change.
“I know this seems bad right now, but we are working diligently to uncover the culprit,” said Trudeau, as the salt crept up his neck. “Denmark says they went through something similar when they got rid of their blasphemy law and they still don’t know what caused it.”
At press time, a naked, winged man was chasing cyclists in Vancouver and waving around a sword made of blinding light.