DEER CREVICE, ON – After grabbing a series of passers-by to tell them that we should never have tried to play God, a bloodstained local scientist has fallen to his knees in the center of town, begging the heavens to tell him what he had done.
“We tried to get him to move,” said Police Chief Harding, “But every time we ask him, he tells us that ‘We’ve gone too far already, we’ve gone too far already’.”
Sources close to the intersection have said that the while the man in question is wearing a lab coat that is ‘drenched’ in ‘copious, copious amounts of blood’, he has refused to answer any questions about where, what, or who that blood came from.
“Every time I ask, he just tells me that there are some things ‘man was never meant to know,’” said Linda Jorgensen, social worker. “Well, just because you’ve been driven mad by the hubristic pursuit of forbidden knowledge, doesn’t give you an excuse to be rude.”
Although police are not sure whether the scientist has come from the secret government research facility on the edge of town, the mysterious corporate research complex on the edge of town, or the shrouded-in-mystery utopian commune of scientists on the edge of town, they believe they can claim with ‘relative certainty’ that the scientist is worried about about a project related to either robotics, cybernetics, ESP, gene splicing, biological weapons, superhumans, subhumans, manimals, animen, animanimals, atomics, alien research, nanotechnology or immortality.
Despite the scientist’s repeated claims that “it’s all gone horribly wrong”, citizens of the town remain upbeat.
“Science is our friend. What great invention didn’t start out with a bloodstained scientist running screaming through the streets?” said high school science teacher Derek Corn. “Just look at the ball-point pen.”
At press time, it was too late, far too late.
