OTTAWA – Scratching their heads and stating that it’s on the tip of their tongues, everyone in the nation outside of Manitoba was completely at a loss when asked to name a city in the province other than Winnipeg earlier this week.
“I think there’s one that starts with a ‘B’,” said Brandon Stern of Wiarton, Ontario, who presumably was attempting to guess Brandon, Manitoba. “Braden? Is that one?”
“Oh, wait! Moose Jaw! Yes, I got one!” said Sherry O’Donaghey of Kitimat, BC, who was saddened to learn that Moose Jaw is in fact in Saskatchewan.
Angered they were not allowed to consult a map, the vast majority of Canadians tried to get off on a technicality saying that Winnipeg was the only city in Manitoba because of its size, but then went right back to making guesses based on their poor understanding of the province’s rich history and geographical diversity that was barely glazed over – if not ignored entirely – in their respective educational upbringings.
“I dunno. I could for sure give you the names of 15 brunch places in the area, but Manitoba? I dunno. Sorry. Pass!” said Richard St. Clair of Montreal, Quebec, who, if instead of refusing to answer the question, just added a “The” and dropped the last “S”, would have accidentally guessed The Pas, Manitoba correctly.
“My favourite breakfast growing up was porridge, and I’ll never forget the good people of Porridge on the Prairie. That’s for sure one, right?” asked Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, almost getting Portage la Prairie, which he later blamed on a language barrier despite being perfectly bilingual.
At press time, most of Canada was able to quickly spout off numerous names of Newfoundland and Labrador towns, including Happy Valley-Goose Bay, Come By Chance, Leading Tickles, Cow Head, Lawn, and Dildo.