QUIZ: Which Anne of Green Gables are you? - The Beaverton

QUIZ: Which Anne of Green Gables are you?

From the windblown sand of Prince Edward Island, to the potato fields also of Prince Edward Island, Lucy Maud Montgomery’s iconic tale of a red headed, scrappy orphan girl has been a staple of Canadiana for over 100 years. And through the , plays, made-for-tv movies and television series based on the Avonlea universe, there have been so many different Annes to choose from. With the new “gritty” Anne of Green Gables airing on CBC we now ask: which Anne Shirley are you? Take our quiz and find out.

1. A boy named Gilbert has a crush on you, but makes fun of your red hair by calling you carrots. What do you do?
You remember this transgression, storing it in your internal cephalic processor. When the time is right, Gilbert will die like the rest of them, in over-the-top, morally unambiguous carnage.
You lift Gilbert over your head and carry him to a farm to compare your hair with actual carrots.
You are dishonoured by this remark, as you are sensitive about your red hair. You will spend the day looking woefully out the window. You imagine yourself in a field of cherry blossoms that dance from the sky as they fall to the ground.
You have blonde hair, so this is a strange thing to say to you. You call your agent who has the boy removed from set.
2. Your teacher, Mr. Phillips, tries to court one of your fellow students. What is your reaction?
You assure yourself that Mr. Phillips will perish along with the rest of the numerous offenders in this squalid dystopia. You imagine perverse tortures that would give a poetic death for his predatory behaviour in life.
You create a diversion by juggling some of the other students.
This is not uncommon to you, given the culture you come from. A small bird lands on your hand to represent your innocence and delicacy.
You say your lines and you go home. Don’t make trouble.
3. At the of 15, you leave Avonlea. Why?
You have escaped your tormentors who have made it their life’s to mutilate you into a creation that nature did not intend. You have acquired deadly skills and have no choice but to use them to survive. Try as you may, this is your life now, and the violence is just beginning.
Your monkey was barred from ownership by municipal authorities.
You earn a teaching license in one year instead of two, however this takes the viewer 9 years to see on screen.
You have aged out of your role and funding has been pulled. You now wonder about future career paths and start thinking about film production.
4. Your father figure dies of a heart attack. What do you do?
Good: they think it was a heart attack and not a cardiac sentinel drone set to go off on your command.
You are ignorant of this fact, as you are at sea and cannot be reached.
You do what you always do: have huge eyes and look somewhere between about-to-cry and about-to-laugh.
The identity of your biological father was not revealed to you until your adulthood. You made a feature documentary about it.
5. What do you think of notoriously arrogant and jealous Josie Pye?
Josie Pye will be defleshed slowly. Her vanity will suffer the most as she is made to watch herself literally fall to pieces using a rope, a mirror and your enhanced katana targeting system.
If you did meet her, you’d challenge Josie Pye to an arm wrestle and, in all likelihood, break her arm
Josie Pye’s insults stick with you, and bring great shame.
You do not know who that is, but you probably could have played her.
QUIZ: Which Anne of Green Gables are you?
Quentin Tarantino’s “Avonlea on Fire”
You are Anne of Green Gables from Quentin Tarantino’s “Avonlea on Fire” (2025) set in a distant future, but at the same time, a samurai-Western, follows Anne - an orphaned cybernetic redheaded girl - who was brought to a secret facility (Green Gables farm) by an incentuous brother and sister couple who wanted a boy to make the perfect soldier. After enduring horrible traumas and living her life as a contract killer, Anne returns to Avonlea to exact revenge on the towns folk that allowed her to become the death machine she is today.
QUIZ: Which Anne of Green Gables are you?
Pippi Longstocking
You are obvious Anne of Green Gables forgery Pippi Longstocking. Just because you’re super strong, seafaring and live with a monkey, doesn’t mean we can’t tell you were plainly a Swedish rip off of one of ’s most beloved narrative treasures. Get out of here! You are not welcome!
QUIZ: Which Anne of Green Gables are you?
Akage no An
You are Red-Haired Anne from the 1979 Anime Akage no An produced in Japan and directed by Isao Takahata. Your eyes are massive normal human standards, and your red hair is inherently interesting to a population of millions that is almost exclusively dark haired. You travel Prince Edward Island on a flying horse and buggy.
QUIZ: Which Anne of Green Gables are you?
Sarah Polley
You are not Anne of Green Gables, you are, in fact, director and actor, Sarah Polley. Although you never actually played Anne of Green Gables, you did Sarah Stanley in the 1990’s CBC series Road to Avonlea, set in the L.M. Montgomery character universe. You went on to direct movies like Away From Her, which was emotionally devastating.


Interested In Writing Satire Like This? Check Out A Beaverton Workshop