Quiz: Why didn’t your father say he loved you before he died? - The Beaverton
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Quiz: Why didn’t your father say he loved you before he died?

The bond between child and father is one of the most important in a person’s life. In your case the lack of love between the two of you will haunt every future relationship. But instead of focusing on that why not take this fun quiz to find out exactly why he didn’t say it?

1. What job did your father do?
A) Coal miner but he quit after machines made it 'too easy'
B) I know he was paid $18 for every sperm donation. He was very prolific but, I don't think it was enough to live on.
C) He was a Judge before one of my classic pranks got him disbarred
2. On Father's Day you gave him...
A) A new fishing rod but he told me handouts were for Communists and Swedes, then threw it down a well to teach me a lesson.
B) I would leave cards at the donation clinic until they asked me to stop.
C) One time I got him a kilo of coke as a prank (cause he was a Judge and coke is illegal... get it?). After that, just Swiss Chalet gift certificates.
3. The most common father/son activity growing up was...
A) Silently performing manual labour next to each other.
B) Masturbating is the only thing I know we both do.
C) It used to be playing catch until one of my classic pranks left his left rotator cuff immobile.
4. How was your father’s relationship with his father?
A) Grandpappy died of black lung before I was born, but I heard a lot of stories about his favourite beating stick.
B) I assume they at least knew each other
C) Pretty good until I convinced my dad that Grandfather was dead and had cut him out of the will
5. On his deathbed he said...
A) Why aren't you at work. Having a dying father is no excuse to slack off.
B) Who are you? How did you get in here?
C) I don't know where the llama or the baby pool of Chardonnay came from but this isn't time for one of your stupid pranks. This is a sterile environment and you're putting all the patients at risk. You took away the one thing I loved, ruling on arguments about torts and contracts and such, can you please at least leave me with my dignity?
Quiz: Why didn’t your father say he loved you before he died?
Because he was incapable of expressing his emotions.
Suffering a series of hardships in childhood your father suppressed his emotions as a coping strategy. He wasn't cognizant of his feelings much less able to articulate them to you. Or maybe he was just a dick.
Quiz: Why didn’t your father say he loved you before he died?
Because you were just 50 bucks to him.
Your father provided the biological bare minimum for being a father, he never agreed to anything more. Looking to him for emotional support is like looking to a dog for help with your math homework. Or maybe he was just a dick.
Quiz: Why didn’t your father say he loved you before he died?
It is me, your papa!
I didn't say I loved you so years later you'd click on a quiz just like this one. A quiz that I wrote years before my death. After tailoring all the the questions to point you towards this answer so that I could prove once and for all I am the ultimate prankster! P.S. I love you.
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