Mobile, Alabama – 3rd Amendment values voter Rusty Scofield warns that Hillary Clinton secretly plans to abolish the US Constitution’s 3rd Amendment, in order to house soldiers in citizen’s homes without the owner’s permission.
“Your homes are at stake! Don’t be fooled by the lamestream media,” urges Scofield on his weekly 3rd Amendment podcast From My Cold Deed Hands. “As president, Killary Clinton would immediately start removing American citizens from their homes – and what does she intend to house in those home? Soldiers, redcoats, muskets – you tell me!”
Despite a complete lack of comments made by Hillary Clinton regarding the 3rd Amendment, at any point in her campaign or entire life, Scofield remains unconvinced. Insisting that a Clinton administration would “have an entire garrison quartered in your guest bedroom, just like that,” Scofield has taken to stockpiling rooms before the November 8th election.
Scofield proudly led reporters on a tour of his extensively-renovated home, containing 14 newly constructed rooms, rooms that had been sub-divided into smaller rooms, and an audibly creaking foundation. “If Crooked Hillary wants to quarter a light infantry battalion or some filthy bayonets in these here rooms, well, she’s welcome to try,” added Scofield menacingly, moments before his recently-built breakfast nook collapsed.
Questioned why he believes Clinton would abolish the 3rd Amendment, Scofield led reporters to his “research room” (a converted shipping crate attached to his home), and pointed to a large corkboard filled with newspaper clippings and string. “It’s all here: President Clinton; HOUSING and Urban Development; THIRD Clinton term; Clinton owns a home, but have we ever SEEN it? Hillary Rodham Clinton – THREE letters in her name. I’m not sure yet how George Soros fits in,” Scofield paused, “but I can’t make it any clearer than this. President Hillary Clinton will repeal the Third Amendment.”
Scofield is not alone. His views are shared by a 3rd Amendment group called the Quartering Rights Association (QRA), which urges its members to stockpile arsenals of rooms. “The Constitution guarantees my right to own as many rooms as I want, even if Shillary wants to quarter servicemen in there, darning their socks and quaffing all my ale” asserted Scofield. When asked about the QRA’s stance on recent deadly mass-implosions of self-renovated homes, Scofield accused reporters of being “in the pocket of Big Quartering”.
Asked who he intended to vote for in the election, Scofield explained, “Donald Trump tells it like it is. And when he says ‘We’re gonna make America great again,’ obviously he’s talking about defending the 3rd amendment.”
In a related story, Hillary Clinton is currently insisting to the occupants of a senior’s rest home that she “never e-mailed a muslim jihadist named ‘Benghazi’ to murder Vince Foster.”