SYDNEY, NS — A trip to Nova Scotia’s most famous island ended in tragedy yesterday after four tourists from Ottawa overdosed on the iconic country-folk group, the Rankin Family.
The incident began innocently enough when they purchased the Rankin Family’s 1994 Juno-winning album, North Country, from a local dealer. Both parents had experimented with adult contemporary in college in the early 90s, but were unaware of how dangerously addictive the rhythmic tunes were. The dependence began almost immediately after the CD was injected into the 2000 Ford Taurus’ CD player.
Police say the four arrived in Sydney after staying up for 72 consecutive hours of driving around looking for more album hits.
“They just couldn’t stop singing and jigging to ‘Rovin’ Gypsy Boy’” explained RCMP Sgt. Cecil McGowan who responded to a call of ‘Rise Again’ being sung too loudly. “There was no other band they would sing along to. No Kinnon Beaton’; no Slowcoaster; not even Rita MacNeil! That’s when I called for medical assistance help.”
Despite their best efforts, paramedics were unable to get the family to stop incessantly singing or humming along to the catchy country-folk music iconic to the communities in the surrounding rolling green hills and stormy seas.
“We applied 1,000 cc’s of Stompin’ Tom, but they were not responsive,” said Dr. Anita Cherbourg, an emergency room doctor at the Cape Breton Regional Hospital. “The victims couldn’t stop incessantly humming ‘Movin’ On’ for hours, which began to infect other patients.”
The family is currently in Tragically Hip isolation.
