Swooning world leaders tell Trudeau climate isn’t the only thing that’s hot around here - The Beaverton

Swooning world leaders tell Trudeau climate isn’t the only thing that’s hot around here

— World leaders at the COP21 meeting on climate change have reached a consensus that both the climate and Canadian Prime Minister are getting hotter and hotter.

An amorous UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon made the announcement to delegates about the dangers of greenhouse gas emissions.

“The science could not be clearer; the polar ice caps are melting and so is my heart,” announced Ban while staring at the 43-year-old Canadian leader. “More must be done to address greenhouse gas emissions and our general lust for the Canadian Prime Minister, both of which has been rising rapidly.”

A bedazzled British Prime Minister explained “JT significantly contributes to a reduction of C02 gases because he takes everyone’s breath away.”

The Canadian delegation apparently received a diplomatic note from German Chancellor stating “show me a little transparency on carbon credits by removing your shirt, slowly.”

Other leaders called for greater investments in green infrastructure and research into why Trudeau is such a hunk.

“Justin is the world’s most beautiful species in need of protection,” explained Chinese President . “Fuck the pandas, I want more Justin.”

According to sources, Trudeau received several lecherous invitations from other world leaders to drop by their hotel suites tonight to discuss kinky renewable sources of energy.