A colony of E-Coli bacteria, which resides aboard the Carnival Majesty ocean-liner in the Western Caribbean Sea, is anxiously looking forward to its vacation to Spokane, Washington aboard the S.S. Doug Standish, an insurance broker currently vacationing on-board the Majesty.
The gastro-intestinally devastating microbe will travel courtesy of the lower intestine of Mr. Standish who will be returning home to Spokane immediately after his trip.
“Last year we took a different carrier – a large Hispanic family out of New York – and got to see the hustle-bustle of the big city and its bathrooms up close. It was always go, go, go,” said Colony #4768249-G, “this year we’re really excited to just relax somewhere low-key like Spokane, take it easy, kick back, and aggressively decimate the insides of a nice Protestant man.”
Vacations by e-coli, norovirus, and other catastrophic illnesses which permanently reside on cruise ships have been on the rise in recent years. Although the colony will probably end its upcoming holiday being dissolved by a cocktail of medically administered antibiotics, the colony’s genetically identical duplicates who will remain onboard the ship are already planning a 2016 vacation.
“Hopefully somewhere exotic like Japan!” exclaimed Colony #4768249-H, “We’ve always been fascinated by the way different human cultures interact with different bacterial cultures. It’s amazing the way people from different nations all react the same way to having their bowels absolutely ruined.”
At the time of writing, Doug Standish was returning to the buffet for one last taste of that “tangy chicken” he liked so much yesterday before leaving the Majesty for his flight home. “That’s our boarding call,” #4768249-G announced happily.
