QUEBEC CITY – Building on his reputation as a wild-card wiling to call out the other candidates on issues where they share the same biases, Bloc Québécois leader Gilles Duceppe has demanded the other party leaders give him fifteen dollars.
“This is an issue none of the other parties want to discuss,” said Duceppe, during the recent french-language debate. “And it’s obvious to see why: giving me fifteen dollars is in none of their best interests.”
While Duceppe was equally willing to go after all three leaders for what he called their ‘lack of a principled stance’ on the issue, his special ire was reserved for the Prime Minister.
“This is something that I was criticizing Mister Harper for in 2011, 2008, and 2006, and we still haven’t seen any progress from him on this,” Duceppe said. “And the situation has only grown more serious since then.”
“I very much need to have fifteen dollars.”
Analysis of the numbers in the spending breakdown of the fifteen dollars that the BQ provided seems to show that they add up.
“They’ve done a very thorough job,” said financial expert Eleanor Morris. “The one campaign sign, the secondhand tie from a thrift store, and the ham sandwich for Gilles to eat would seem to add up to exactly fifteen dollars.”
As of press time, all three frontrunners have continued to hold out on Duceppe’s demands, as well as on Elizabeth May’s request to simply be allowed to speak on behalf of her party at debates.