TORONTO – Postering the York, Ryerson and University of Toronto campuses, the group ‘Students for Western Civilization’ is calling for the creation of a safe space that would allow white students to crush and dominate other races without fear of marginalisation or judgment.
“All we want is a separate, equal forum where white students can celebrate their race subjugating and plundering the world without being made to feel like that’s maybe not such a great thing to celebrate,” said one anonymous member. “Is that relatable?”
The group claims that modern academia is biased against western civilization: a bias confirmed by the fact that only an overwhelming majority of humanities courses deal primarily with European subject matter, and are taught by white men to a plurality white student body, sometimes in educational institutions with strong historic ties to the Residential Schools.
“Well sure, the last six centuries of white history involves a lot of forced displacements, pillaging, coercion, sexual abuse, dehumanisation, disenfranchisement, slavery and genocide that scholarly literature only really started to examine in the late ‘80s,” said another student, who also wished to remain nameless. “But there’s also good stuff, like the invention of the sextant, and the theodolite.”
“Why do people care more about previously-ignored genocides than the theodolite? I can only assume that the answer is reverse racism.”
Sources inside the group say that their poster, which features two white men in black coats and short-cropped hair standing in front of the CN Tower, was meant to evoke pride in western civilization, not to look like the cover of an alternate-history sci-fi novel where the Waffen SS start hanging out at cool brunch places on Queen West.
At press time, the rich students union had teleconferenced in from their yachts, complaining that people were stereotyping them with the claim that they were out of touch.