MENLO PARK, CALIFORNIA – On the heels of its long awaited “dislike” button, Facebook has announced plans to launch a “talk about this in person” button that will allow users to take their online quarrel to the next level.
“Right now, you’re spending hours in Facebook-comment-thread arguments about politics, feminism, or sports,” said Facebook spokesperson Seth McQuillan. “Well with one click of this new button you are able to spew your pointless vitriol right into each other’s faces!”
McQuillan went on to describe further potential benefits to be gained from the button: a group of men can now show up in person to shout at women trying to have a conversation; and friends can go to someone’s house to physically see what their “sigh, weird day…” vaguebook status was actually about.
“It’s astounding sometimes, how close the future really is,” added McQuillan.
With a single click, Facebook will open calendar apps, and adjust each party’s schedule to arrange an immediate meeting. The button also links directly to Uber to arrange transportation.
Credited with the breakthrough is lead Facebook programmer Neil Voerhaven, who plans to keep moving down this route: “Buttons are such a great way to express yourself, and we’re excited about where this could go” Voerhaven said, gesturing to a list of prototypes including the “I Acknowledge Your Child is Cute” button, and a “Shocked. Stunned. I Have No Words” button.
“Personally this one is my favourite,” he added, pulling up Facebook’s familiar thumbs-up logo, adjusted to be holding a glove in a threatening fashion. He hinted that the “I Challenge You To A Duel” button could see beta testing in the southern US as soon as next month.