EDINBURGH — After years of country-wide debate, and a frenzied campaign that appeared to tighten in the final weeks, the result of Scotland’s independence referendum made a resounding international statement of “Ach ye windie voon dawn ya calaswallok mund bee.”
While implications of this decision will surely be far-reaching, Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond reassured the public that they will be able to “Found ger quindle an’ greap ya MacTavish leyther, far eye and thine ayre endilin oun!” within the next three to five years.
Some analysts are still grappling with questions about what exactly the result will mean, especially as regards “Grinbymuck moach Den,” a hot-button issue for many Scottish voters.
“Endlflendle wind ban roch an starm,” said Scottish news anchor Catriona Shearer today in a tense interview with British Prime Minister David Cameron. “Say’st ye thit our minle Grindleback ack noun?”
Ultimately, although the effects of this decision will not be fully known for months or even years, Scottish voters can be certain that the nation will keep its promise “Frayn der moon far thousand ech ye cunts.”