BELO HORIZONTE – In the wake of Germany’s 7-1 World Cup semifinal trouncing of Brazil, Angela Merkel called on Brazil to cut back on its importation of German goals.
“This sort of imbalance is dangerous and unsustainable,” the German Chancellor explained. “The international community can’t be expected to stand by and watch Brazil build a historic goal deficit.”
“Brazil cannot expect German players to provide all the goals at this World Cup,” she continued. “At some point, the seleção need to become self-sufficient and score some goals of their own.”
“If Brazil continues down this perilous path, I foresee rioting in the streets!”
At press time, the German Chancellor was urging the IMF to impose a World Cup title austerity program on Brazil.
