BREAKING: Sidney Crosby out for remainder of CBA negotiations with concussion-like symptoms - The Beaverton

BREAKING: Sidney Crosby out for remainder of CBA negotiations with concussion-like symptoms

NEW YORK – The NHLPA suffered a serious blow today as Pittsburgh Penguins’ forward told reporters he will be out indefinitely after experiencing concussion-like symptoms.

The symptoms returned as a result of a head injury sustained by Crosby during the latest players/owners meeting and will leave the young star watching the remainder of negotiations from the sidelines.

“It’s a tough pill to swallow,” Crosby stated. “I’ve accomplished so much as a hockey player – a scoring title, an Olympic gold medal, and a Stanley Cup – but I’ve never successfully negotiated a collective bargaining agreement. This is a huge part of being a hockey player in today’s and it looks like I’ll have to wait another 7 or 8 years before I get another crack at it.”

Crosby’s injury, suffered as a result of violently shaking his head in disbelief after the owners’ latest proposal, has reopened discussions regarding head injuries and player safety.

“It is no question that head injuries are a serious concern,” NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman said in a press release. “But this is the first such incident this year compared to last year when we lost 1700 man games due to head injuries. My main job is to keep the players safe and I would appreciate some recognition for how successful this lockout has been in this regard.”

NHLPA executive Donald Fehr has called the loss of Crosby “disastrous” and “devastating” but is confident other players can step up to fill the void left by the young star.

“Sidney is special on and off the ice, and unlike most players, has a great understanding of math and social etiquette. Yes, it is a loss but it gives our side a chance to try some untested strategies with some fresh faces.”

The two most likely call-ups are Toronto’s Phil Kessel and Chicago’s Patrick Kane – each bringing vastly different skill sets to the negotiating table.

“Phil provides us with a scheme where we make the owners feel so awkward that they have no choice but to give in to our demands, and Kane has so much valuable experience negotiating with law enforcement, sorority girls, and taxi drivers.”

Upon hearing Bettman’s statement, 4 more players joined Crosby on the long term injury reserve with concussion-like symptoms.