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HAMILTON, ON – Local resident Mark Sanford, 24, ruined his chances of making friends with two cool dudes yesterday when an introductory handshake went horribly wrong.
Sanford’s friend Brian Thorpe, 26, was introducing Sanford to cool dudes Sam Hampton, 25, and Rosa Perks, 28, when the incident occurred.
“I went up to meet [Perks]. At first, I thought it was just going to be a traditional handshake, but then I realized that he wanted to do the arm-wrestle grip thing,” Sanford explained. “It was too late, and we had already made contact and everything was all messed up. We eventually ended up doing the arm-wrestle thing, but then he wanted to do that thing that sometimes comes after the arm-wrestle grip – you know, it’s kind of like the thumb-wrestle grip – and I blew it. It all happened so fast.”
According to Sanford, the botched handshake destroyed any chance of a future friendship with the cool guys.
“Then [Perks] said to my buddy Brian, ‘I thought you said this guy was cool, Brian? This is fucking amateur night, man.’” Sanford recalls. “Then [Hampton and Perks] walked away. I wish there was a website I could go to that explains all this shit.”
