VICTORIA - A British Columbia Conservation Officer has been having trouble conserving the amount of bullets inside his Glock 22 sidearm.
WINNIPEG - Amid the controversy over Robin Thicke’s performance tonight at the Juno’s, organizers have decided Thicke’s scantily-clad back up dancers will be replaced by Team Jones, the Canadian Olympic curling champions.
TORONTO - In response to an ongoing police investigation into the cancellation of two gas power plant costing $1.1 billion, a former high ranking staffers within the Premier’s office claimed that the unintentionally hit the delete button on all communication related to the affair.
OTTAWA - The Tribute MP representing the British Columbia District has been declared winner of the third annual Canadian Parliamentary Hunger Games after two days of intense combat and cunning strategy by 20 MPs.
OTTAWA - At a press conference today Prime Minister Stephen Harper made two announcements: first, he revealed the astounding truth of a government department that oversees Canada’s various wizards, witches, and magical creatures; and second, that the Conservative government will make wide-ranging cuts to this supernatural ministry.
MONTREAL - At a campaign stop on the provincial election trail, Quebec Premier Pauline Marois admitted she “ne me souviens pas” the exact definition of “souveraineté"
INGONISH - Parks Canada is set to begin construction on a 10 storey high statue along the Cabot Trail to commemorate the memory of Canada’s services and pensions for veterans
EDMONTON - Following the surprise resignation of Premier Redford, the Alberta PC party has proudly announced that her replacement would be a 159L drum of pure petrol.
OTTAWA - With the return of the last Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan, Harper declared an economic victory now that the country’s opium economy has fully recovered.
OTTAWA - Canada’s Economic Action Plan, which cost $60 billion of the past five years, created its first job opening today when Finance Minister Jim Flaherty resigned.