LUBBOCK, TX- The annual migration patterns have been interrupted for a group of 50 monarch butterflies, who were detained at the US-Mexico border for suspected possession of controlled substances.
OTTAWA - Speaking at the yearly Ottawa Press Gallery Dinner, Green Party leader Elizabeth May’s off-colour jokes about Omar Khadr were later revealed to be an unsuccessful audition for the upcoming season of CBC’s 22 Minutes.
EDMONTON — After thirteen years of detention, Omar Khadr was released on bail on Tuesday after all parties agreed to allow him to become a member of ISIS should he feel so inclined.
TORONTO – Elementary school students across Ontario have begun to protest the province’s updated health and physical education curriculum, expressing concern that their parents aren’t “mentally developed enough” for them to learn about sex.
CALGARY – NDP staffers gathered around the newly elected Alberta NDP premiere Rachel Notley to celebrate her momentous underdog victory by pouring a barrel of fine crude over her head.
CHARLOTTETOWN, P.E.I. - After a gruelling campaign that led candidates from the dock all the way to the old barn, Bill, Roy, and Chad have called it quits, and Dale has been elected Premier of Prince Edward Island.
OTTAWA - After fruitlessly trying to get MPs to vote in favour of tighter conflict of interest rules, Ethics Commissioner Mary Dawson has decided to ‘grease the wheels a little bit’.
OTTAWA - At 10:03 this morning, a flash of light appeared on Parliament Hill producing the glowing white aura of a young woman claiming to be the granddaughter of Prime Minister Stephen Harper, warning the nation about increasing the contribution limits of the Tax Free Savings Account from $5,500 to $10,000.
OTTAWA - Despite initial fears that the Conservatives would be unable to balance the 2015 budget, finance minister Joe Oliver has managed to scrape together a small surplus, after promising to scrap some seven million Canadians.
TORONTO - The Ontario government’s decision to change liquor laws and permit the sale of beer in grocery stores will put the progressive province on par with the laws from the 1890s.
Do you enjoy our reporting? Help us grow our coverage and reach by purchasing a voluntary subscription to our content. You will be supporting a Canadian brand that promotes social and economic justice.