WASHINGTON D.C. – As part of the UFC Freedom 250 match, President Donald J. Trump’s demanded an 80th birthday present to himself which saw Vice President JD Vance and Secretary of Sta…
Tag: UFC
Guys who get punched in the head for a living worried about Trump’s cognitive state
WASHINGTON, D.C. – As the White House hosts an Ultimate Fighting Championship event on its South Lawn, several competitors who are paid to issue and receive concussions expressed concern ab…
UFC Fight Island inhabitants resist allure of the Conch, establish socialist utopia
ABU DHABI – In the midst of preparation for UFC 251, officials and fighters have overcome the power of the bewitching Conch they stumbled upon, and set up a socialist system of government o…
Upcoming UFC card features grumpiest fighters yet
EDMONTON – The UFC event in Edmonton will feature a title bout between the sport’s two grumpiest fighters: Stu Caufield and Frank Leroux, neither of whom has smiled since Mambo No.5 w…
Bro scientists confirm world ‘pretty gay’
WOODBRIDGE, ON – Highlighting humanity’s continued effect on the global environment, the World Institute for Bro Sciences has confirmed the long disputed theory that the world is, in fact, …
10 ways to show everyone you’re over your recent breakup
Are you trying to show everybody you’re totally over your previous relationship? Here are some tips: 1. Write a listicle for an online women’s magazine about the top ten ways to know …
European handball officially named world’s dirtiest sounding sport
OTTAWA – The Potential Euphemism and Non-intentional Innuendo Survey released a statement on Sunday, officially naming European handball as the world’s most suggestively named sport. “After…
Georges St-Pierre enjoying the best goddamn cup of coffee in his life
MONTREAL – Following his retirement, former UFC champion Georges St-Pierre was seen gently cupping the best god damn cup of coffee that he’s ever had in his whole life at a local brun…
Marc Garneau blames defeat in Liberal Leadership race on Chris Hadfield
OTTAWA – Marc Garneau told reporters Monday that the reason he was not able to capture the public’s attention during his bid for Liberal leadership is because current International Space St…
Researchers determine that brain damage causes MMA fights
MORGANSTOWN, VA – Researchers at the esteemed Brain Injury Research Institute have determined that brain injuries cause mixed martial arts fights. “Before starting their careers in fighting, most…
