The Harper government has passed its controversial Noble Voters Act, which will require all potential voters to answer three riddles and “establish their virtue true” before casting a ballot. “Th…
Tag: Stephen Harper
Harper apologizes for his children’s behaviour, was unaware that alcohol existed
Prime Minister Harper apologized today for the drinking that caused a young woman to be hospitalized during his son Ben’s 18th birthday party on Wednesday, explaining he would never had allowed i…
News editor brilliantly simplifies complex scandal for nation by adding ‘gate’
TORONTO – CBC’s News Now production meeting was running long until chief editor brilliantly suggested adding the word ‘gate’ to the main noun of the major story to simplify the whole complex scan…
G8 meetings a ‘lot less fun’ without Putin
BRUSSELS, BELGIUM – Following the suspension of Russian President Vladimir Putin from the Group of Eight, meetings between the world leaders have become “stiff”, “overly business-like”, and…
Elizabeth May wins 3rd annual parliamentary Hunger Games
OTTAWA – The Tribute MP representing the British Columbia District has been declared winner of the third annual Canadian Parliamentary Hunger Games after two days of intense combat and cunn…
Harper reveals Canadian Ministry of Magic, announces sweeping cuts
OTTAWA – At a press conference today Prime Minister Stephen Harper made two announcements: first, he revealed the astounding truth of a government department that oversees Canada’s various …
Harper declares Afghanistan mission a success with opium economy fully recovered
OTTAWA – With the return of the last Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan, Harper declared an economic victory now that the country’s opium economy has fully recovered. “Canada would like to re…
After travel mix up, Stephen Harper accidentally signs free trade agreement with North Korea
PYONGYANG – After a pilot error took him to the wrong part of the Korean peninsula, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper mistakenly signed a free trade agreement with the North Korean Dem…
PMO showcases free lunch program for disadvantaged staffers, cabinet ministers
OTTAWA – The Harper government is demonstrating its profound empathy for the disenfranchised political class with a $68,000 lunch program for disadvantaged PMO staff and cabinet ministers. “It’s …
Harper developing jowls as he plans to be ‘not a crook’ for Liberal convention
OTTAWA – Canadian physiologists are watching in amazement as Prime Minister Harper‘s chin increasingly envelops his neck as the Liberal Convention begins in Montreal. “We’ve read about it before …
