OTTAWA – A statement released today by the department of Aboriginal Affairs and Northern Development has called on “somebody, please” to do something about the fact that hundreds of aboriginal women and girls have gone missing or been murdered in the last three decades.
“If only there were some sort of body with the power to enact legislation that could put a stop to this sort of thing,” said AAND minister Bernard Valcourt. “Somebody has to take responsibility for this.”
Citing the facts that aboriginal women are four times more likely to be murdered than white women, and that nearly one quarter of aboriginal women are victims of domestic abuse, the department has begun to explore new policy options: options as diverse as sighing, shaking their heads, and muttering “it’s a damn shame”.
“Is there some sort of historical context to all this?” said Prime Minister Harper. “Because it almost seems as though the conditions for this crisis might have been brought about by institutional racism.”
“Surely not, though?” Harper added.
Although the government has not consulted with aboriginal leaders about the missing and murdered women, sources inside Aboriginal Affairs and Northern Development say that it is something they “definitely might do at some point, maybe”.
“Someone should put together a public inquiry. While they’re at it, they could do something about health and education on reserves,” said Valcourt, before shrugging and getting back to work allocating land to companies for oil and gas exploration.
Since the statement was released, the Canadian public has sprung into action by posting about it on Facebook.
