TORONTO – Hockey insiders are starting to raise alarm bells about Auston Matthews inability to put up assists early in the 2023-2024 NHL season. “Yeah yeah it’s early, but 0 ass…
Tag: Sens
Sens fan confident that his bold predictions of success won’t make him look like a complete idiot this year
OTTAWA – Local Senators fan Morgan Horowitz is pretty sure that his confident proclamations that this is the year the Senators achieve team success won’t make him look like an absolut…
“No one said we’d be good this year” claims Sens fan who spent all summer saying team would be good this year
OTTAWA – Tired of being mocked for the team’s poor performance, Ottawa Senators fan David Martinson is reminding everyone that the team was expected to struggle, despite spending the …
Hockey fans training hard to get into peak trash talking shape
MONTREAL – Local Habs fan Jeff Donoghue says he needs just a few more training sessions before he is in mid-season trash talking shape. “Other off-seasons I’ve kind of let my ga…
Eugene Melnyk spends entire press conference referring to team as “Houston Senators”
KANATA, ON – After a little more than a week after wrapping their 31st-place season, Ottawa Senators owner Eugene Melnyk held what was otherwise a routine press conference today about the t…
Ottawa radio station still waiting for first caller to claim free Sens tickets
OTTAWA – Four days into a gruelling promotion, soft-rock radio station CKJP “The Buck” has yet to receive one caller in a contest for free tickets to an Ottawa Senators home game. The “Mike…