MADISON — GOP candidate Ted Cruz has condemned Donald Trump’s recent statements that women who have abortions should face legal penalties, and emphasized that no woman should be punished for this…
Tag: Republican Party
Clown car careens off cliff, hundreds dead
TORONTO – Tragedy struck the 401 Express today as a car carrying several clowns careened off of a steep embankment while en route to the upcoming Oshawa Clown Festival. First responder Alex Hinds…
Anonymous accuses dozens of people of being Donald Trump
NEW YORK — Just days after declaring “total war” on GOP frontrunner Donald Trump, hacker collective Anonymous has wasted no time in accusing dozens of private citizens around the world of b…
‘GOP polls that dismissed Trump were laughable’ says Democrat whose polls dismiss Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. – While mocking 2015 polls that said Donald Trump couldn’t possibly win the GOP nomination, DNC political operative Colin McCallum maintained that his own internal polls sh…
Fiorina endorses Cruz in blatant act of sabotage
MIAMI – Speaking at a campaign rally in Florida this week, former GOP presidential candidate Carly Fiorina endorsed Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex) for the party’s nomination, in what experts are calling “…
Donald Trump starts feud with Donald Trump
NEW YORK – Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump has found himself embroiled in another feud, this time with Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump. “Who is he? Comes from a fa…
Ted Cruz caught Google searching “How to move back to Canada” in wake of Super Tuesday results
HOUSTON, TEXAS — Following Donald Trump’s grab in yesterday’s Super Tuesday primaries, Texas Senator and Republican presidential contender Ted Cruz accidentally revealed his interest in imm…
Dropped out GOP candidates get together for last big fearmonger party
Washington D.C. – Before they went their separate ways the recently resigned Republican Presidential candidates all met up for a final chance to stoke the fires of irrational fear and hate.…
Jeb Bush drops out of race to spend more time with gun
COLUMBIA, S.C. – Following a fourth place finish in the South Carolina primary, Jeb Bush has ended his run for the Republican nomination citing his desire to put in some quality time with his new…
Ben Carson calls for submarines to be stationed along entire U.S. Canadian border
LAS VEGAS – Republican presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson has publicly demanded that the US-Canadian border be secured by stationing US Navy submarines along its entire stretch. “We need to de…