CALGARY – According to friends and family, 37-year-old Jason Rowe is absolutely churning through Goosebumps books in a desperate attempt to hit his 2023 reading goal. “I told him 50 books was too…
Tag: reading
Indigo website down, book lovers forced to read books they already own
NATIONWIDE — Following a cyber attack that left the Indigo website inaccessible, book lovers across the country have been forced to turn to the many, many books they already own. “I’m at such a l…
Local man figures he’ll wait until the next internet outage to read a book
PRINCE ALBERT, SK – As internet service returns to hundreds of Rogers customers nationwide, local copywriter Jack Pally’s plan to enjoy literature has been postponed yet again until the nex…
Little free library just dumping ground for self-help books that failed to save marriages
CALGARY – A local woman perusing her community’s little free library is disappointed that she can only find weathered self-help books that couldn’t get the job done. “I was hoping to discover a c…
“Whoa, it’s the best of times?” says dude about to have his shit rocked by Charles Dickens
CALGARY – Sources at the Central Library have reported that Bryce Spooner, who said “Hell yeah, let the good times roll, baby!” when he began A Tale of Two Cities, is about to get his fucking tee…
Man who “loves reading” actually just likes falling asleep while holding a book
Minden Hills, ON – Local man Jacob Hall claims to love reading, but actually just loves falling asleep with a book on his chest. “Whether it’s sci-fi, fantasy or non-fiction, I …
How to keep your New Year’s Resolutions by modifying them every day
The new year is upon us, and it’s time to make a plan for keeping all those resolutions! Whether your plan was to eat better, read more, quit a bad habit or pursue a professional goal, a surefire…
Local woman adds additional book on productivity to impressive collection of half-read books on productivity
TORONTO – After a shopping trip to the Eaton Centre earlier today, Michelle Johnson returned home with yet another book on productivity to add to her already vast collection of never finish…
STUDY: Average Canadian reads 97% less after getting too old for Scholastic book fair
HALIFAX — Researchers at Dalhousie University have determined that most Canadians’ volume of reading plummets over 97% after they leave elementary school, and thusly age out of the Scholast…
Study: Canadians unable to identify what a book is unless it has a ‘Heather’s Pick’ sticker
TORONTO – A groundbreaking new study from the University of Toronto has found that Canadians are unable to identify what a book is unless it has been ordained by Heather Reisman, CEO of Ind…