OTTAWA – With the holiday season drawing near, Prime Minister Harper issued a statement today urging all Canadians to enjoy the time of year that brings us closer to our most beloved indust…
Tag: prime minister
RCMP to find missing PMO emails by asking NSA
OTTAWA – To aid in its investigation of the Duffy-Wright expense scandal, the RCMP is seeking help from the NSA. “We have no working relationship with the PMO, or the Senate,” s…
Stephen Harper loses virginity
OTTAWA – After a wild night of tea and overly competitive Boggle, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper retired to his residence at 24 Sussex Drive with his wife Laureen, where he made lov…
In triumph of democracy, Harper writes laws for all future governments
OTTAWA – Seeking to strengthen democratic institutions, Prime Minister Stephen Harper used this week’s speech from the throne to announce the legislative agenda of all future governments. “…
Ben Mulroney cast in Justin Trudeau biopic
Producers for the upcoming Justin Trudeau biopic “Justin: our hero, our saviour, our next prime minister” have revealed that Ben Mulroney will be taking on the titular role. At a press conference…
PROROGATION UPDATE: Harper to spend duration sitting naked in a freezer
OTTAWA – (DAY TWO) In preparation for a month away from the House of Commons, Canada’s Prime Minister has entered the industrial freezer he had installed in the basement of 24 Sussex drive …
Harper proclaims prorogation, then lazily commands Governor General to dance
OTTAWA – From atop his gilded throne, ensconced in the the resplendent halls of Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Harper today sought his third prorogation since assuming office, before nonch…
Steven Harper commissions detailed report on human emotion
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Stephen Harper has called on his council of Cabinet members to provide him with a detailed report on human emotion. Included in the request made earlier in the week,…
Theresa Spence begins eating strike
OTTAWA – Just hours after ending a 6-week-long hunger strike, Theresa Spence, Chief of the Attawapiskat First Nation, announced she is ignoring all medical advice and commencing an eating s…
First Nations audit of Federal Government reveals billions in mismanaged funds
OTTAWA – The Canadian Government has been mismanaging funds for over 140 years according to a damaging audit commissioned by the First Nations released this morning. The audit, conducted by…