OTTAWA – With Mark Carney’s Liberals finally achieving a majority, bouncers outside the Liberal party have instructed numerous MPs who are now rushing to cross the floor to “wait in line”.
Following wins in two key by-elections, University-Rosedale and Scarborough Southwest, bringing the Liberal seat count up to 173, MPs from across the political spectrum have begun lining up in the cold evening air outside the Liberal offices.
“But my friends are in there,” insisted a desperate Adam Chambers, Conservative MP for Simcoe North, as he watched the stone-faced bouncer open a velvet line to let in newly-Liberal MP Marilyn Gladu. “Do I have to wait outside here all night?”
Reports have emerged of a power-mad Mark Carney emerging from the Liberal Party chambers to scan the crowd of hopeful floor-crossers, each eager to impress the Prime Minister and get admitted to “the hottest party in Ottawa”.
“Do you want me to take my shirt off? I’ll do it!” yelled Gord Johns, NDP MP for Courtenay—Alberni.
At press time, Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre released a statement promising that his party is working on getting a karaoke machine.
