TORONTO – Ontario’s top doctor Dr. Kieran Moore stated in a press conference yesterday that, given the understanding that Covid cases will rise significantly in the fall with the cold weath…
Tag: Ontario
Ford government gives hospitals the power to send elderly patients to EZ Self Storage
QUEEN’S PARK – Premier Ford’s Ontario PC’s have passed controversial new legislation that could force hospital patients awaiting long-term care to be stored in long-term s…
Toronto man has visited friend who moved to London, UK more often than he has friend who moved to London, ON
TORONTO – Local man Matt Faskins has visited his friend in London, England more often than he has his friend in London, ON since each moved away 6 years ago. “Back in University me, S…
“I’m pro-life, but…” says guy about to discover he is pro-choice
SUDBURY, ON – Local man Nick Jacobs declared this weekend that he was confident in his pro-life stance despite making every pro-choice argument there is. Eight minutes after arriving at his…
Ontario announces new “Self Serve” Emergency Rooms
QUEEN’S PARK – With Ontario’s hospitals reporting emergency room closures and critical nursing shortages, Premier Doug Ford has announced a new relief plan allowing patients to diagnose the…
Danielle Smith clarifies that it’s Alberta first, Saskatchewan second, New Brunswick last
EDMONTON – Running for leader of the UCP on a platform of ‘Alberta First’ Danielle Smith took time today to give reporters her clear ranking of the Canadian provinces. “Ma…
Cat watching you scoop litter box with quiet authority of tiny feudal lord
TIMMINS, ON — Upon hearing the unmistakable sound of a scoop dig into a wet clump of litter, three-year-old Muffins Fitzwilliam has climbed atop his cat tree to look down upon you with the quiet,…
Doug Ford grants powers to new Strong Mayors, Fast Mayors, Heat-Vision Mayors
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has emerged from his secret underground laboratory to announce his successful creation of a new breed of mayor with the strength, speed, agility and superhuman…
Editorial: Actually, some of my best friends are multicultural – by Michael Ford
My uncle Doug Ford and I have been getting a lot of flak online for my recent appointment as Ontario Minister of Multiculturism and I don’t think it’s fair, not one bit. What people don’t seem to…
Ontario allows landlords a record rent hike to deal with the inflation that only affects them and not tenants
TORONTO – Ontario has doubled the maximum rate a landlord can raise a tenant’s rent next year in order to help them cope with the cost of living increases that affect them and not the peopl…