HALIFAX – Experts are puzzled after scientists proposed a 2 week emergency lockdown, only to have Nova Scotian premier Rankin actually institute it, rather than ignoring them, lying to them…
Tag: Nova Scotia
Nova Scotia to be renamed Scotiabank Province
HALIFAX – In a bid to increase brand awareness, the Bank of Nova Scotia has agreed to pay $5,000 and an iPad to the province of Nova Scotia to change its name to Scotiabank Province. “It’s …
COVID first thing Nova Scotia happy to be only province without
HALIFAX – After decades of being the only province in Canada without several attractions, amenities, and chain stores, the COVID-19 virus has emerged as the first thing Nova Scotians are ac…
Following Hurricane Dorian, Nova Scotians still unaware Dartmouth floated away
HALIFAX — In the wake of Hurricane Dorian, a category 2 storm that battered the Maritimes, locals have yet to notice that the entire city of Dartmouth has been washed out to sea. Officials …
We ranked the provinces and tried really hard not to put New Brunswick last
Canada is a country enriched by the rich tapestry of our provinces, each one demonstrating a distinct identity and unique characteristics. Naturally this begs the question: which provinces are go…
Halifax donair prepares to spend winter in man’s colon
HALIFAX – A recently-ordered extra large donair with the works is currently undergoing preparations to spend the winter months lodged in the colon of local call centre employee Justin MacIs…
Nova Scotia named best province to walk into the sea and end it all
HALIFAX – According to a survey by the Center For Goth Canadian Studies, Nova Scotia has been named the best province to walk into the sea and end it all. The results of the survey reveal t…
Litre of Donair Sauce appointed as Nova Scotia finance minister
HALIFAX – In a move that has surprised many throughout the province, 1 litre of Donair sauce has been appointed as Minister of Finance and Treasury Board, taking over from Randy Delores. “I…
Guide To: Nova Scotia
Nova Scotia, is it just another New Brunswick? The Beaverton Guide To is here to help with your weekly dose of educational content, Canadian Geography edition!…
World’s oldest man says petty grievances keep him going
HALIFAX – The current oldest man in the world, Johnson P. Bartholomew, 112, claims the key to longevity is holding on to as many petty grievances as possible. “They say an apple a day keeps…