OTTAWA, ON― Representatives for Loblaw, Metro, and Empire have responded with enthusiasm to Justin Trudeau’s recent ultimatum requiring them to curb inflation, which is now running at 4%. “We wan…
Tag: inflation
Meeting on grocery prices stalls as CEOs send Trudeau to self-serve negotiator
OTTAWA – A meeting convened with Canada’s top grocery CEOs to discuss soaring prices stalled this week, as the executives directed Trudeau to conduct his own discussion with their automated…
“I’m glad inflation is finally under control,” says man on verge of losing house
MISSISSAUGA – In response to recent reports from the Bank of Canada, Canadians across the country are celebrating that inflation is finally under control, amongst them local man Bryan Fergu…
Canada’s grocery companies pretending not to hear about falling inflation rate
OTTAWA – Statistics Canada reports that the national inflation rate has fallen for a second consecutive month, and the nation’s grocery stores are dutifully pretending not to hear about it.…
Trudeau announces he will ban inflation
OTTAWA – In a bold legislative move to combat the ongoing rise in inflation, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced he plans to declare the unavoidable byproduct of the modern monetary…
Galen Weston defends $3 million raise by asking “Have you seen how expensive stuff is getting lately?”
Caledon, Ontario –Loblaws CEO Galen Weston defended his $3 million raise this week by noting that it’s really not that much when you think of how expensive things are nowadays. “Have …
Due to inflation, Newfoundland time zone now 45 minutes past the hour
ST JOHN’S – The Government of Newfoundland and Labrador this week announced that after adjustments for inflation, Newfoundland’s time zone will be shifted to 45 minutes past the hour. Prem…
Loblaws credits record profits to “raising prices on things humans need to live”
BRAMPTON, ON – Loblaw Companies Ltd.’s fourth-quarter results beat analysts’ expectations, which executives credit to the grocery giant’s corporate strategy of “gouging people f…
“Everything is broken so lets make it worse” vs “Everything is perfect so let’s fix nothing”
“Everything is broken so lets make it worse” by Pierre Poilievre It is a fact: our beloved Canada is irreparably broken. From unaffordable housing, to rampant inflation, to bold leaders being moc…
Man caught stealing eggs from Loblaws charged with theft over $5,000
VANCOUVER — Police working with Loblaws store security have managed to foil a brazen daytime robbery of the Grandview Highway Superstore location, the suspect almost making off with two dozen egg…