LOS ANGELES, CA – The 93rd Academy Awards are underway, and the socially distanced press is currently getting some great shots of the famous attendees when they appear onscreen during the l…
Tag: hollywood
Hallmark announces holiday movie about woman who realizes her hometown is an irredeemably racist shithole
LOS ANGELES – The Hallmark Channel has announced that it will be expanding its catalogue of original holiday content with a new Valentine’s day movie about a career woman who returns home f…
HBO ready to offer up another Game of Thrones prequel, you sick fucks
LOS ANGELES, CA – HBO reportedly has another Game of Thrones prequel series in development, which they are really hoping is what you fucking people want. Based on George R.R. Martin’s more …
The Golden Globes celebrate Hollywood’s best and brightest bribers
This past Wednesday, the Hollywood Foreign Press released their hotly anticipated nominations for the 2021 Golden Globe awards. After delays due to the global pandemic, the nominations were final…
Best Breakout Actors of 2020 and who their famous dads are!
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Acting is notoriously difficult to break into, but this year’s up-and-comers used hard work to beat the odds! These rising stars have the charisma, drive, and genetic facial…
Hollywood begins search for the right cis actor to play Elliot Page in eventual biopic
HOLLYWOOD – After an announcement by Oscar-nominated Canadian actor Elliot Page that he is trans, major studio executives have begun the search for the perfect cis actor to step into the “E…
The Beaverton’s top five four three two one uncancellable hunks of Hollywood
Guess what, Beav Babes? The annual list you’ve been waiting for is finally here! Every year we assemble a list of five guaranteed unproblematic hot Hollywood hunks that you can crush on, 100% gui…
Timothee Chalamet will now play every human on earth by 2023
LOS ANGELES – Following his successful portrayal of Henry V in The King and the announcement that he will be playing Bob Dylan in an upcoming biopic, Timothee Chalamet has announced that he…
Ellen DeGeneres and George W. Bush bravely find common ground as rich white people
DALLAS, TX – Comedian and LGBTQ+ icon Ellen DeGeneres was seen with former President George W. Bush at a football game this past weekend. Following the backlash, DeGeneres responded by brav…
QUIZ: Oh God, what now?
It’s been a long week! You’re tired, fed up, and the pizza you’re eating to make yourself feel better is weirdly making you feel worse. But after a long day of staring at a screen, it’s time to r…