...
Feds drop Cancer Society’s charitable status after determining organization is politically biased against cancer
OTTAWA – The federal government has removed the Canadian Cancer Society’s charitable status after an CRA audit revealed the organization was conducting political activities with a strong prejudi...
Jason Kenney accuses SPCA of anti-Semitism after taking soft stance on Israel
OTTAWA – Minister of Employment Jason Kenney has had enough of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals long history of remaining silent on Israeli-Palestinian affairs. “Listen, I don’t kn...
Comic-Con fans eager to discover what they’ll spend next 12 months bitching about
SAN DIEGO – While San Diego prepares for this weekend’s 2014 Comic-Con International, fans of comic books and sci-fi are preparing to find out what they’ll spend the next year whining about. “I’...
Desperate for the world’s attention, Central African Republic refugee hopes for Israeli attack
SIDO, CHAD – While awaiting his daily food ration at this UN-administered camp in Southern Chad, a CAR refugee stated that an Israeli attack of any kind could really bring world attention to the situa...
Harper slams Chief Justice on choice of outfit
OTTAWA – In the latest jab of his ongoing feud with Chief Justice of the Supreme Court Beverley McLachlin, Prime Minister Harper has slammed the jurist for her choice of outfit. “We think that i...
New app locates hottest nearby places to curl up and die
SAN FRANCISCO – Taking Silicon Valley by storm, the new smartphone app ‘Surrendster’ uses GPS technology to find the hippest nearby place for you to go, cough once or twice, and then...
UPDATE: Same old shit happening in Gaza again
TEL AVIV – Both Palestinian and Israeli sources have confirmed today that the “usual crap” is currently taking place in Gaza, and that they have “fucking had it.” “I’m tired of all this shit,” said El...
Supreme Court overturns Alien v. Predator
WASHINGTON – The United States Supreme Court issued a shocking 5-4 ruling on the landmark case of Alien v. Predator, ruling that the intergalactic hunters’ (“Predators”) victory violated the civ...
