TORONTO – Tragedy struck in the Rogers Center parking lot today when a head-on collision occurred between a sedan and a 400,000 seat bandwagon following yet another lopsided Blue Jays victory. “...
Harper tells unemployed that they only ‘technically’ lost their jobs
EDMONTON — Speaking to dozens of unemployed oilsands workers, Prime Minister Stephen Harper explained that the workers maybe ‘technically’ unemployed, but in reality they are ‘...
Canadian man swims in pool record-breaking three times this summer
OAKVILLE, ON — Oakville local Richard Fisk swam in his backyard pool a staggering three times this summer, shattering the national personal pool swimming record. Said Fisk of the record-breaking...
What’s a Tom Mulcair? 5 questions Canadians Googled most about the leader of the NDP
Poll results might have Thomas Mulcair smiling wide as the October election looms, but some Canadians still aren’t familiar with the leader of NDP. Search records obtained using Google’s analyti...
Yellowknife’s closed KFC to become National Historic Site
YELLOWKNIFE — While it no longer serves buckets of fried chicken or Double-Downs anymore, Yellowknife’s KFC will serve as a new National Historic Site and interpretive center. Parks Canada annou...
Harper outraged by three year sentence for Canadian journalist in Egypt, demands life in prison
OTTAWA – Two days after Canadian journalist Mohamed Fahmy was sentenced to three years in prison by an Egyptian court, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper blasted the decision as a complete m...
Encarnacion hits 3 home runs, scores 9 RBIs, ascends to being of pure energy
TORONTO – Following a historic performance of 9 RBIs and 3 home runs, including one Grand Slam, Blue Jays slugger Edwin Encarnacion shocked the capacity crowd at Rogers Center by transmuting int...
Thousands of public servants test positive for opinions
OTTAWA — According to a report by the Conservative government, over 12,000 federal public servants have tested positive for opinions. All civil servants must be tested for all forms of viewpoint...
Calgary bus driver will only drive straight if forced to drive rainbow pride bus
CALGARY – Calgary transit driver Jesse Rau has said that, if assigned to drive one of Calgary Transit’s rainbow Pride flag buses, he will only drive 100% straight on his route. “Being a Christian, I j...
Local man can’t believe friend’s glasses are so strong
MONTREAL — Panic struck a cafe in Montreal’s NDG last week when a man donned his friend’s glasses for a one-time experiment. Witnesses report that once the glasses were secure on his face, the m...
